Don’t Tase Me Bro!

I saw this video on BoingBoing the other day.   Legal arguments of whether this was excessive force aside, this seems morally excessive.   Maybe “morally” is the wrong word, but holding down someone whose only crime is being naked at an outdoor music festival and tasing them seems excessive.

What is our big hang up with nudity anyway?  This was Coachella, not Disney Land.  As long as this man wasn’t assaulting anyone, what is the big deal?  I’m guessing Coachella itself has rules concertgoers have to abide by, and maybe a prohibition against nudity is one of them, but are the police there to enforce concert rules?  Or did this man really pose a threat to the public?

Come on.  Let the naked hippie dance.

Dear Texas,

We get it.  You are a big state, you have a lot of people, and you may or may not be blessed by a higher power.  You’re independent, you don’t like to be pushed around, and many of your residents identify themselves as “Texans” first, Americans second.  We get it.  You’re awesome.  You have a hip capital city, a sweet music festival, and Dillon High School football.  You have three NBA basketball teams, King of the Hill, and the Alamo.  You have big hair and speak with a long, slow drawl.  Clearly you are superior.

So, Texas, if you want to, go for it.  You know what we’re talking about.  Now, yes your governor never said anything specific about Texas seceding from the United States, but we know you’re all thinking it.  So – do it.

You can do all sorts of wonderful things in the Republic of Texas.  You can limit all the civil liberties you want, abolish all government-funded social programs, teach religion in school, eliminate income taxes, eliminate barriers to buying guns, build walls along your borders, stockpile weapons, privatize education and health care and social security, invade Oklahoma, conduct private enterprise unregulated – whatever it is you want to do, you can do it in the Republic of Texas.  Think of all the free time you’ll have when you don’t have to go to all those tea bagging parties anymore.

But if you want to trade with us, well, sorry.  And we’d like our corporate branches, federal agency offices, banks, and anything else we paid for back.  And when you find yourself ill-equipped to provide for your out-of-work citizenry, do not send them to us.  They can pull themselves up by their bootstraps, literally.

So, Good Luck and thanks again for the first season of Friday Night Lights.  The other seasons weren’t as good, but that’s okay.

Oh, and go Portland Trail Blazers.

Sincerely,

The Other 49 States (& Washington DC)

PS.  THANKS again for George W. Bush.

I’m new in town.

Hi!  My name is Candice and I live in Portland, Oregon.  I have been keeping a blog for almost a year, but with blogspot.  I needed a change and I like Word Press, so here I am….

I like Twitter.

There. I like it. I admit it. It’s a weird little universe. At first I thought it was completely useless because I was only following three people (in Twitter world “follow” essentially means “friend”) and I had nothing to add to the conversation. It’s like jumping into a chat room. You feel like an idiot just twittering “Candice is tired” or “Candice is going to work”. My day is pretty boring, so my status updates were also pretty boring.

Then I discovered Twitter’s usefulness as essentially a message board. I starting responding to my friends, then added some new friends, including a few of my favorite comedians. It’s interesting because the celebrities on there post what they are working on. My friends and I carry on several simultaneous “conversations” – all in 140 characters or less.

I think what I like best about Twitter is that I still only have like five friends (including my celebrity “friends”) who twitter on a regular basis, making it a very effective means of communication. I don’t have a phone with a data plan and can’t access social networking sites at work, so if I had more Twitter friends I’d just be overwhelmed by the volume of tweets going back and forth.

So there. I’m a convert. It certainly doesn’t replace Facebook, but is actually much more fun. Now all I need is an iphone.

Thanks for nothing, January

I don’t like January. I’m not particularly fond of February or August, but this isn’t about them. This is about January.

I’ve never liked January. November and December can get away with being cold and rainy and icy and snowy because they offer lights and delicious food and Christmas trees. January offers none of these things. January is cold and dark, and you have to take the holiday decorations down. Taking the tree down and putting the ornaments away is never as fun as putting it all up. Instead of eating sugar cookies and pumpkin pie and mashed potatoes, January just wants us to munch on carrot sticks and hit the gym. In December we get to exchange gifts, in January we’re supposed to think of resolutions. Usually those resolutions are forgotten by February, but in January we have to face busy gyms and feel guilty when we realize we’re probably not going to learn French by December 2009.

Even without the post-holiday blues and Resolution frenzy January is an inferior month. You have to get used to writing the new year whenever you write out the date, something you never get the hang of until at least mid-February. Students have to go back to school (wait – I don’t feel sorry for them). January means it’s winter (the rainy season) and there’s nothing to break the monotony (the clouds) until spring. The Super Bowl is usually in January, so it has that going for it if you like watching millions of dollars spent on grown men hitting each other and commercials for mediocre products (I don’t care if your new can has a wider mouth or a freshness sensor, it’s still Coors Light). At least Super Bowl parties usually feature tasty snacks. But then if your New Year’s Resolution is to eat healthier and lose weight, January just comes back to smack you in the face again.

So, thanks, January. Gone are holiday lattes and sparkly lights. January is cold, dark and hungry. You know what? I’m stocking up on peppermint hot chocolate and leaving up my Christmas tree until March.

My Top 5 Predictions for 2009

It’s a new year and everyone seems to have predictions about everything, so here are some of mine, based on absolutely nothing:

1. Polar Bears will no longer exist.
Science will tell you that, without protection, polar bears are as good as gone by 2050. However, other science says that polar bears are doing better than ever. I don’t know which to believe, so I’m just going to continue taking polar bears into account for my daily decisions as much as I did before all this global-warming hoopla: none. No, less than none. Because polar bears insist upon starving to death and blaming it on our carbon-loving ways, I’m not even going to visit their exhibit at the zoo. So, for me, polar bears will no longer exist in 2009.

2. A politician or minister will be involved with a sex scandal.
This will cause the 24-news networks to compete for footage of the seedy motel room or bathroom stall where the incident took place, and fight over interviews with everyone from constituents/congregation members, hotel bellboys, bouncers, prostitutes, sex scandal historians, psychologists, other politicians/ministers, politicians who happen to be ministers, and people who happen to live close by.

3. Thanks to a dismal economy, Hollister and Abercrombie & Fitch go out of business.
Frat boys and high school kids everywhere are forced to return to American Eagle.

4. 30 Rock won’t get picked up for another season, Saturday Night Live will go back to sucking all of the time, and The Office will start to get annoying.
Tina Fey can only do so much, given that NBC is desperate be the worst network on television. With such quality programming as “Superstars of Dance”, “Momma’s Boys”, and “Deal or No Deal” it is amazing NBC is even still on air. Clearly, their creative minds have taken the past couple of years off. Some show starring Christian Slater about a man with two identities (or something)? Thanks, NBC! Next time, stick to what you know: Law & Order spin-offs. And give us more Brian Williams.

Finally,

5. The Kansas Jayhawks will not win the NCAA Men’s Basketball Championship.
Sadly, I will still choose them to win every bracket I fill out.

I think that the one of the worst parts of being alive in a middle class society, in a developed world, is the constant tug-of-war between the different people you yourself are or want to be. Once your other needs, those of food and shelter, health and companionship, are met, you realize your dual status as both the most and least significant thing on the planet.

If you are anything like me, then you understand the almost neverending internal debate between these forces. You want to do something significant with your existence. You want to impact society. You want to change things. You want to be noticed. However, you also want to live your life. You want to experience things. You want to learn things. You want to change things in yourself.

It seems as though there are a million different ways to accomplish either of these things, but very few to accomplish it all in one lifetime.

I went to law school because I wanted to be involved with public policy. I wanted to be a part of the debate; I wanted to be a part of history. Instead I found that being an attorney mostly just means you’re a cog in the machine. So I decided I wanted to be a college professor. I still do. But that dream requires a lot. The cost and time of an additional degree – assuming I’d even get in to a PhD program or finish one. Then the reality that I’d probably have to live somewhere I’d rather not be. I’m guessing professorships at schools on the West Coast are hard to come by for new professors. This is a problem for me because I don’t really want to live anywhere else.

So.

I’ve realized also that I spend a lot of time feeling sorry for myself. Poor, poor me. When in fact I have very few actual reasons to feel sorry for myself. I am alive at a good time and in a good place. I have a job. I have a good family. Yet, I continue to wallow in my chief life disappointment: that I am not, at this point, making a huge impact on society.

This was, and is, incredibly narcissistic and selfish. Who am I to presume that I must have some hand in the world’s affairs at large? That I have to be recognized for a major impact and change to the world? I realized that life isn’t about being on the covers of Time or being the person to change the system. It’s about little things. It’s about learning and discovering for yourself, but then passing those experiences on to others so that they may too learn and discover. Little things can make big impacts because little things cause ripple effects. And everyone can do little things. Not many can do big things.

JD to PhD

My first lawyer job did not work out. As good fortune would have it, I am back at the government job I left to go to the firm. Life is good.

I’ve spent the better part of the last two years dissecting a perpetual pro and con list of life plans. I know what I do not want to do: practice law. I know what I’m interested in: political science, international affairs, sustainable development, environmental policy, food and hunger issues. I know what I like to do: read, research, write, discuss, counsel, guide. I want to be a college professor. I want to study international sustainable development and environmental policy and I want to teach political science.

I’ve been studying for the GRE for a few weeks and looking at programs. I want to stay on the West Coast and financially I can do this only if the program offers funding.

I do not wish to divide my day into 6-minute increments ever again. I don’t want to spend money and time fighting over a line in a contract or exhibits in a rate case. I don’t want to help companies make more money. I want to motivate students…I want to learn more about the world…I want to make this a better place. It is possible to do this as an attorney. But I’m not that attorney. Law school was something I decided to apply for when I was 19-years-old. I don’t regret that decision, but I had no idea what being a lawyer meant nor did I really ever intend to practice.

Lawyering is a fine profession, it really is. I just can’t think of too many things I’d like to do less.

Worst job: Not Being the Keynote Speaker at the DNC

I’m taking a break from the dozen or so projects I have floating around in my head to indulge my political side by watching the Democratic National Convention. For whatever reason, I’ve always enjoyed watching the Conventions. Someday I hope to attend the DNC. Cover myself in political flair and the tackiest hats and t-shirts I kind find. Wave my sign with pride, but upside down. And most importantly, get up and walk around during the non-keynote speakers’ speeches.

LLM

I’m giving this whole LLM plan a lot of thought. I’m not happy in the law, and if I must do something legal, I want to do something that is near and dear to my heart: namely a combination of environmental policy and international affairs. University of Washington has a program – LLM in sustainable development law. We will see.

University of California-Berekely also has some good programs, so I’ll probably apply there too. Geographically I’d like to stay on the west coast or go abroad.